This weeks MemberClinic in conversation Author A. N. Porter, she shares insights from her debut novel, #PhantomWedding. Exploring the the key themes featured in the novel which is a socio-political psychological thriller / socio-political horror.
Here are some key takeaways from Porter’s personal philosophy on the act of #influencing.
“Influencing starts with you!
Every human being has a spark within them which is like an ability, a source of a desire and a source of success and that is where it starts with you as an individual.
It’s like a spark, but what happens is you go through life and the outside, external world can negatively #influence you and it can put out that spark inside of you and that can come from negative words from others, trolls online or even yourself through fear, self-doubt. Doubting yourself is a major thing that can negatively put your spark out.
But what I say is, you should be on your own side if other people are against you, don’t be against yourself. At least be on your own side and then you’ve got something to work with because if you’re against yourself that makes life even more challenging.
Be on your own side and be kind to yourself!
There’s something #psychologists and therapists talk about, something called Gentle Strokes. So #gentlestrokes are doing something nice for yourself every day. Whether it be go for a walk, take time out to sit at a coffee shop and just think. It doesn’t have to be something to spend money, it can be something free, hot bath bubble bath, read a book, go for a ride but these gentle strokes at least one a day not only helps to #calm the mind, it calms the soul and the spirit and it kind of re-balances you as a person. I can’t tell you you feel so refreshed .
We come against so many stereotypes of where you’re supposed to be at this age, what you’re supposed to have achieved by that age, and it just beats you down as a human being and it’s too much. It can just become too much on the individual.
You need to just throw all that away and just be like you know what? That’s what the world says but let me just start from today this is my life and I’m going to start fresh and whatever happens at that age happens and I’m going to have a goal and a purpose but I’m not going to beat myself up if things don’t work out the way the world tells me it’s supposed to work out by that age.